Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Let the rumors begin...

Gossip is great, isn't it? Everybody loves it and everybody participates in it even when we say we don't like to or don't want to. Families are no different. In fact, families might be worse.

When I got to my niece's house, there was my mom, sitting on the couch while the kid's played and watched TV. My daughter got right in amongst them while I sat next to my mom. I was exhausted already and she hadn't even asked what the doctor said. Maybe she wouldn't - that would have been spectacular, but no.

"So, what'd the doctor say?"

"Well, she went over her notes, and what she saw and she said, well, you know she's been doing this along time and she came highly recommended and well, uh, she said my girl is bright and smart, and that she's uh, well, on the autism spectrum." Suddenly, U2's song, "Stuck in a Moment, that You Can't Get Out Of" came into my head. I wished I had a time machine so I could go back and change my answer to, "Oh, fine. Everything's great." It would have been a lie, but it would have spared me the next few months.

My mom stiffened in that way that she does when she wants to say something like, "What the hell?" but knows that she can't. I think she said something like, "Really?"

"Yes, she's highly functioning, but she's still on the spectrum."

"I see."

I was waiting for her to bring up my other nephew who was autistic - start drawing comparisons, but she didn't. Instead, she grabbed my daughter and hugged her tight and said, "But she's just an angel girl." That's what my mom says when she wants to avoid whatever topic is being discussed.

"I know," I said, and went to the bathroom. I didn't actually have to pee, I just had to get out of there for a second. After a few deep breaths and some water on the face, I went back into the living room. My mom was on her cell phone and the part of the conversation I caught was, "...well of course the doctor met her, she did an observation of her. I'm guessing that's how she came to that conclusion. I know it's not right, but that's what she said. Ok, I have to go. Love you. Bye."

I pretended not to hear it, but I asked if it was dad on the phone and she confirmed that it was. I wanted to leave right that instant. Not just the living room or my niece's house, but the state, or better yet, the country.

I told my daughter to get on her shoes and gathered up my purse. "You know, Mom. All this means is that I'm going to do my best to get her whatever she needs to survive and thrive in this life. The good news is, I was already planning to do that before my chat with the doctor."

She didn't have an answer and I didn't have anything else to say, so I left with my daughter and we went for ice cream. Why not, after all, the world hadn't stopped.

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